Christmas at Home

Ice. The road is covered in ice. I’m cold, my teeth chatter. I can’t tell if it’s the weather or if I’m in the early stages of withdrawals. I finish my last cigarette. All this waiting is making me nervous and I start to get second thoughts. I can still change my mind. I’m so cold it starts to hurt, but what hurts the most is to find myself at […]

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It Was All Within Me

The DJ scratches the record and then lets it run, and with it Prince starts to dance. He is a break dancer, and his first move is called “the helicopter”, a classic. He spins wildly and the students, mouths wide open, start to cheer. He’s come a long way. I remember when I asked him to join our crew. He was a kid, a fourteen-year-old cast away. He used to […]

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I’m Still Here

This is a story of a friendship shared between Ale and myself. Ale is a fantastic person who is currently in recovery, and completing the program at San Patrignano. You are probably asking yourself how anyone could have feelings for a junky. Well give me a chance to explain myself and perhaps you will understand.  Ale and I met thirteen years ago. As soon as I saw him I knew […]

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What Could Ever Happen?

I was sitting on my bed at home, watching TV. I remember the waves of monotony, the strong feeling of dissatisfaction that washed over me. I was waiting for a friend to call me. We were supposed to go out and score. The anxiety I used to feel when I had to wait still gives me the creeps. I have my last hit of heroin and all of that noise […]

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A Race Against Time

It’s 5 o’clock in the morning, the alarm goes off and the room it pitch black. I can barely see the floor. I slowly slide from my bunk, trying to make as little noise as possible because I don’t want to wake up my roommates. I have laid out all my clothes in the front room. I’ve got everything I need. I put on my clothes, collect my hair in […]

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Dancing Princess

Since she was a child, Sara never played with dolls. She turned into a princess. She covered herself in veils and fabrics, and long trains that trailed behind her when she walked. She was in love with those beautiful dresses made from light cloth that billowed when she pirouetted, that flared into a wheel when she span Whenever her mother bought her a dress she always asked: “Does is it […]

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Fallen Heroes

The outskirts of town are a strange place. They seem empty but if you look close enough you will be able to see some signs of life. Barracks, all in their rows, like a human hive, where all sorts of people live: the poor, pensioners, dealers, immigrants, rats, the working class, families and junkies. We’re all there together, living amongst the rot and the human degradation, to which we all […]

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Finally Together

I haven’t seen him for a year. I know he’s not well. He wants to know if we can meet up. He comes over at around 10pm. My mother isn’t home. It’s just the two of us. The moment I see him it doesn’t feel like any time has passed at all, and I suddenly realize how much I need him. He doesn’t speak, but he’s never been that talkative […]

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The Field

My first memories are that of a huge cornfield. The immense beauty of nothingness. A warm wind that caresses my thoughts. The sky is grey, quiet, and I’m almost afraid to look at it. An inverted sea the depth of a thousand clouds. I hug my mother, I take in her perfume and touch her black dress, feeling the wind helps me understand the confines of my world: my mothers […]

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This Is Who I Am

I still haven’t quite figured it out. The same tired old refrain keeps repeating itself: “Lower your expectations of others”. I feel like I have a thousand razor blades caught in my throat, and in an instant everything changes. Anxiety. I start to gag, trying to spit it out. “I’m always the odd one out. A fish out of water.” I’ve always had to live with these thoughts of being […]

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Mirrors

They have always told me that you should never look in the mirror when you are high on ecstasy because you can ruin your trip. I did it anyway, and seeing my own face was terrifying: I looked like a monster. Michele was a 14-year-old kid, and he saw weed as just a hobby. It was a way to become part of a group, one of the boys. The ones […]

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Friends At Any Cost

“Look out everyone, here comes the black belt!” My schoolmate was teasing me again, pushing me into a corner, making people laugh at me. “Show us what you can do, black belt!” He came at me doing his best Rocky impersonation, and punched me straight in the nose. He split my lower lip open, staining my mouth blood red. Everyone suddenly went quiet. You could hear a pin drop. They […]

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