Learning to swim

I was practically addicted to my parent’s presence and someone’s protection. I’ve always been raised under a glass dome. For my family, I was the little angel destined for many good things, with a secure and bright future ahead of him.

I lived with the constant feeling of looking for something, but I didn’t know what. I always felt like I was hanging by a thread and the greatest fear was that at any moment that “thread” would break. I imagined falling, sinking into an open sea without any life jacket. That’s why I was looking for buoys where to dock all my insecurities. The directions for my path were not written anywhere, as they are not for anyone, it took courage to understand myself and what I really wanted from my life. I remember that the torment that fluctuated from morning to evening made me live in a zig zag. I didn’t know stability and yet I really wanted it so much, but it wasn’t enough to want it. I should have done something to change things, but I didn’t have the strength. Maybe that was fine with me: I depended to live and I didn’t know what it meant to live without depending. And when I say depend, I think of everything and I think of that constant fear that blocked me in front of the true meaning of life. I did not know what independence was, sacrifice and above all the courage to achieve one’s dreams, what makes us feel alive and captains of our choices. It is nice to be afraid but it is right to get involved, to discover and understand that we can find our safe haven. The important thing is to follow the right course, not to lose orientation because we all know that drowning is easy with wrong maneuvers.

Carolina 

Taken from “Sanpanews – Voci per crescere” N ° 60 September 2021
To Find out more: https://www.sanpatrignano.org/sostienici/sanpanews-voci-crescere/