The best part of me

Asia is everything to me. I shared everything with her, even her mother’s belly. We saw the world for the first time together, we also took the first breath and the first cry together.

The first word we learned belonged to our own language with which we spent whole afternoons chatting from one bed to the other in our room, no one could understand us. Asia and I have always shared the same room, even when traveling and sleeping in the hotel. Before falling asleep we spent hours staring into each other’s eyes, she is the person who has always perfectly understood all my silences. The thing that is said about twins is true, that is, that even with kilometers of distance they can feel the same things. It has always been like this with Asia, sometimes I was sick without understanding why and then I discovered that it was she who was not well. I couldn’t be without her. When we went to kindergarten, even though we were in two different classes, we always found ourselves during recess in our secret place and it was the same in elementary school where I needed even just a smile from him to turn the morning. We had everything alike: the backpack, the pencil case, even the diary and the pens, only she loved the light colors and I loved the darker ones. Both with eyeglasses, same frame, she pink with white designs, I white with pink designs. We were first of the dancers, together also on stage, she the pink tutu, I the blue one, then the acrobats who wanted to become part of the cirque du soleil, to then become riders and get to know the whole world of horse riding, our passion bigger. Together we did the first gallop lap, the first obstacle, the first race, the first international competition and the first real grand prix, we experienced some of the strongest emotions of our entire life. With Asia I shared almost everything, the first real important choice, the smiles, the tears, the sacrifices, the efforts, the victories, the falls, some first experiences, the laughter until I no longer breathe, the most beautiful journeys, the sunsets, quarrels, disappointments, defeats, problems, insecurities and certainties. There was no one without the other, what we lived were the exact same things, so even the problems, the words we couldn’t say, the bullying at school and the suffering due to the separation of our parents. Soon we found ourselves falling lower and lower, we wanted to reach that bottom that I have never been afraid of, but which began to scare her a lot. It is at that moment, that for the first time, we saw two completely different paths: she struggled to return to the surface, I easily let myself drown into the abyss. A hot one August morning I found myself completely empty and apathetic. We were in the car. Me, Asia and her dreams. We were on our way to the airport. Asia wanted to start her new life in America. I saw her disappear with that blonde tail of hers and those huge wooden glasses of hers. I had never really been without her. The distance and completely different choices have slowly made us two strangers, how can you not recognize your twin anymore? The one you shared everything with? Maybe I couldn’t accept what I had become, without dreams, projects, with no one around, completely lost. She and I had promised to spend our entire life together, our home, our dreams, our ‘us’. But it was my fault that all our promises were shattered. I missed her, I often thought back to those moments when we were carefree and couldn’t stop laughing even at the stupidest things, I missed our adventures, our games, the afternoons spent taking the perfect photo to post on social media, our runs, her looks, her hugs, our experiments in the kitchen, I missed everything about her, about us. And then I ended up in the Community where the distance ended up bringing us closer together and making us start again from where we had separated. I’ll be going home soon and, after three hard years, I’m curious about what we’ll be together and I’m sure no one will stop us anymore. The twins are back.   Luna  Taken from “Sanpa News – Voci per crescere” n. 47 August 2020