We started to glimpse some lights, after a few minutes we were inside. The club was complete to the full of its life, it was night-time and I felt at home.
That pounding music gave me a feeling of inner peace, blocking all my thoughts, and to cope being there, ecstasy was the best drug.
No one looked at me whereas people usually did, wherever I was and with who ever I was with. My friends came to greet me happy to see me, I was in peace with the world. My only concern was to get some junk. After finding the best one, I went to the dance floor as close to the speakers as I could, so the music invaded my mind and I could leave for my “voyage” in the void.
4 in the morning. I see people starting to run, a girl is on the floor with convulsions: she was swallowing her tongue.
The ambulance and the Carabinieri arrived. Moments of panic. They take her out.
When she arrives to the ambulance and the cops leave, everything returns to normality, the speakers are turned on and I go back to my “world” made out of void. Even her friends are next to me. They dance happy. As if nothing had happened.
The dawn lights illuminate the curious and distorted faces I have around. That’s what’s left of a night without a brake. I leave the crowd, and I go out and sit in the meadow, a bit damp because of the morning frost. I am alone. The others had gone without even saying good-bye, without wondering if I needed a lift. They left me there.
That feeling of loneliness and emptiness that accompanies me as it has always, begun to get alive and so I started to wonder in my mind.
Who knows that poor girl. I wonder if even one of her friends has asked how is she.
Are those to be considered friends?
What if I was in that girl’s shoes?
I pull my gear out of my pocket and my best friend, heroin, so the thought goes away.
I walk away. Having to return home. It was early in the morning. Outside the newsstand, on the front page of the local newspaper it was written: underage has died of overdose…
A shiver climbs my back. I walk, dragging me along the roads that take me home. I could have been that girl and my friends would have left me alone. As they just had.